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Miso (whatever kind you like, but I think mellow barley is the best for this one) Get it at the healthfood store.
Tahini (sesame butter) Get it at the grocery store.
1 bunch green onions
water to thin it out

Okay, so I’ve never made this in anything but a suribachi, which is a sort of japanese ribbed ceramic mortar and pestle bowl with a giant phallic wooden pestle. But I’m sure you could do it in the blender or food processor. Just reserve some of the chopped green onions, so they all aren’t completely pulverized. My mom taught me how to make this when I was just old enough to wrassle the suribachi. She was in a macrobiotic cult when we were little.

1. Chop entire bunch of green onions up. Put in suribachi and grind up until about 70-80% smushed.
2. Add one heaping tablespoon of preferred miso type and grind that in until all mixed with onions.
4. Add about three heaping tablespoons of tahini and grind that in until all mixed with onions and miso.
5. You will have a thick oily paste.
6. Thin this paste out with some good water until you reach the desired consistency.
7. Serve with crusty, toasty bread or veggie tray.

I put ’sex’ in the title to make it more attractive to the internet searcher, but the fact is that this dip will probably get you laid, by vegans and carnivores alike.

Happy Valentine’s Day.