ArkansasRockers.com

1 lb spaghetti
4 eggs
1/2 lb pancetta or thick slicked bacon
1/3 cup heavy cream
1 cup Peccorino Romano cheese, grated
1/2 cup chopped parsley
1/4 cup white wine (optional)
1 onion, diced
1 shallot, diced (optional)
Fresh ground black pepper to taste

Okay. So you want to first get some water boiling in a large pot with some salt added in. While the water is beginning to boil, chop up your pancetta or bacon into chunks, about the size of those shitty hits of acid you bought in high school to escape your “ennui.”

Begin to cook the meat on low-medium heat, keeping an eye on the water. Once the meat is just beginning to cook and some grease is forming on the pan, throw in your diced onion and shallot. Continue to cook on low heat, stirring occasionally.

By now the water should be boiling. Throw in the spaghetti. While the spaghetti cooks, mix together the cream, eggs, white wine, and half a cup of the grated cheese, and then dust the mixture with some fresh ground black pepper.

Here comes the part where you get to look like you actually know what you’re doing in a kitchen. When the spaghetti gets al dente (like, you bite into it and you feel just a tiny bit of it is still uncooked), you’re going to drain the water from the spaghetti, immediately return it to the pot and pour in the egg-cheese-cream-wine mixture. The heat of the fresh cooked noodles will cook the eggs, while the cream will keep it from becoming scrambled eggs and noodles, resulting in a thick and creamy sauce. Continue to stir vigorously and add the meat, onion, and shallot. Top with fresh ground pepper and chopped parsley. You should ideally make this look as hectic and trying as possible. I like to stir with my elbow over the pot and cuss underneath my breath.

Serve with the remaining cheese to garnish. Serves four with hearty appetites.