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(I’m doing this for two people, but just, you know, double it for four, genuis.)

2 pork chops
1 large yellow onion
2/3 cup dry white wine
1 tablespoon flour
3 tablespoons water
8 ounces chicken stock
chopped parsley

(also, you should totally make this with mashed potatoes and serve the porkchops on top, for that extra special touch that says, “This meal was made by and for tubs of titties.”)

Heat up a skillet with some oil. Chop your onion in half, and then cut into quarter-inch strips while the oil gets hot. Take your pork chops, and when the oil is just starting to smoke, throw them on for about 45 seconds on each side. Pork chops cook incredibly quickly, so don’t overdo it.

Then, remove pork chops and set aside. Take your onion and place it on the pan, cooking on medium-high heat for about ten minutes while stirring. When they beging to get soft and slighty translucent, throw in white wine, and cook down the wine until about half remains. Pour in your chicken stock and let simmer for five minutes.

Mix the flour and water together seperately. Turn heat to low, and slowly pour in your water and flour, stirring the mixture while you do so. This while thicken the whole thing, making a really tasty gravy (hence the mashed potatoes). Take your pork chops and immerse them in the onions and gravy, turn your heat back up to medium, and let it all simmer for five to seven minutes. Remove from the stove and serve.

This is a meal that will definitely give you the itis, so no heavy machinery and all that.