SwearingenSanFranciscoCocksucker Fruit Salad

Submitted by tinybadger on 2010-10-05 18:51:42




1 Cucumber
1 Avocado
1 large mango, or two smalls
1 Grapefruit
kosher salt

This is the first recipe that I’ve come up with in my new home in San Francisco. What happened is I was jobless and burning through savings, and our dear sweet young friend Caleb hooked me up with the spoils of a kitchen raid he carried out at the country club where he works as an executive chef. The ingredients above are the remains of the spoils, one week later. This particular cucumber was English, so I didn’t peel it.

Dice everything except the avocado into fairly even bite-sized cubes.

Combine these in a bowl with a light dusting of kosher salt, toss and put in the fridge to chill.

Watch an episode of “Deadwood”

Pull the bowl of fruit out of the fridge, dice the avocado and add it in, tossing with the juices that have collected in the bottom. (see The Fucking Guacamole recipe for advice on how to elegantly dice avo without mangling it.)

Find Anita Bryant and throw the fruit salad in her face.


Note: I’ve made a fruit salad similar to this before, with the addition of 1 green apple, 1 pink lady or honeycrisp apple, and 2 kiwifruit, plus agave syrup and lemon juice, minus the grapefruit. That was also good, but the one I made this morning, with the four ingredients and no added sweetener, had the curious effect of making the avocado taste almost like bananas. Maybe it was a “phantom limb” effect, since fruit salad almost always has banana. I don’t know. I just know that I love how the 4-fruit salad balanced out.

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