hollyann

Lately

A website where getting laid and MIG welding are mentioned consecutively is the kind of website I like.

Alison - True, and I’m grateful for that!

The boy I was with last weekend and I had been out of touch for a few days. We texted to make plans for a week from now and I mentioned I had some follow up questions I wanted to ask him since we last conversed. He said "are you worried about something, because you shouldn’t be. Everything is fine." (which means, now that we have intimate knowledge of eachother don’t worry I’m not going to drop you like a hot potato and disappear, because I’m a nice guy)

It was nice of him to say, but I wasn’t worried. You know why? Cause I’m old and I don’t care. Being less emotionally impulsive means knowing it’s his loss if he treats me like a hot buttered yam. Here’s to being grown ups. It’s fun!

I’m virtually toasting all of you right now with my imaginary glass of some kickass beer John Mark probably brewed, because that seems the appropriate imaginary beverage for this occasion.

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I have been remiss in updating this thing. I really need to put in more effort. The amount of enjoyment I get out of other people’s updates is by far unequal to my efforts so I will try to be better.

So here are some random thoughts and messages for your enjoyment..

Leigh and Robert, Yay yay and YAY! For so many reasons this is awesome. One of the reasons I am happy is that it will be MUCH easier for me to visit you when I come to FS. You are one step closer to your big farmy dream house in the backwoods with the porch. Yay!

At this point I’m not sure when I’m coming home to AR next. It might be late summer. I hope.

Chad, I used to be mixed up about my own age all of the time. Leading up to each birthday I used to unintentionally round up to the next year. So much so that I actually skipped a year once. Now that I’m over 35 this doesn’t happen anymore.

About aging and being a woman: I’ve been having these night sweats the past few yearswhich have gotten worse lately, and are likely just hormonal imbalance. I started reading up on estrogen depletion today and was almost convinced that I’ve entered perimenopause. It’s probably not true and I’m being paranoid, but I made a doctor’s appt anyway. I’m only 36 years old! Approaching early menopause would definitely hurt my already sad dating prospects, since the eligible men who seem most interested in me are 5 - 10 years younger and probably want to have families some day.

One drawback of being healthy and looking pretty decent for your age is that you don’t want to date out of shape older guys, but you also really don’t want to date super hot too young guys. I am thinking in a couple years I will probably let go of my designs on having a family on my own, then all of this won’t matter. I’ll become Blanch DuBois and love it.

I just (casually, I suppose) started seeing a bit of this guy who has been a friend of mine for about 4 years. He’s cute, smart, fun to hang out with and very nice to me. He’s also 27 years old.

See the problem here?

I’m old!

I talked to another potential date on the phone this evening, and he didn’t seem that interested in me - just wanted to talk about himself. I admit that the only reason I agreed to meet him next week is that he had two dogs. I love dogs that much. I would use going on a date with a guy as an excuse to hang out with his dogs. I’m horrible.

Speaking of animals..Meredith, I don’t know if she is reading this but I hope you are having luck getting rid of those chicken mites. That sounds just horrible. Poor ladies!

So this week is a doozy for me. My roommate of 6 1/2 years is moving out and off to Maryland with her new husband and a kid on the way. She moved in here when she was in grad school, single, and we’ve had a lot of big life experiences together. For me it was my Dad dying in 2011. She was an integral part of helping me manage his end of life care (that’s what she does for a living) and I’m eternally grateful for that. I in turn helped encourage her to break up with her stupid boyfriend of five years which allowed her to meet this great dude whom she married and he is now kind of like my family too.
It’s bittersweet having her leave. We agreed that neither one of us has ever lived with anyone else so long except our own parents. She’s like a sister. We’ve had our ups and downs, but almost all ups. I’ll miss having her here.

It’s hard not to take stock of my life in comparison. I have grown a lot on the inside, but not much has changed on the outside. I do have a job that I love and I’m a lot happier now than I was 6 years ago. But, I’m still single. So there’s that.

I really do think that I’m in my prime right now. I think it would have started earlier if it weren’t for losing my Dad. It’s been almost two years now and I feel like I’m beginning to get my head above water in that process.

The other thing about this week is that it’s father’s day. Last father’s day was absolutely awful, and I think this one will be a little easier.

My Dad’s bday was in May, and this year was easier than last because I pre-empted it. It went pretty smoothly.

I think I’ll do the same for this weekend. Plan some nice stuff for myself to do and make some his favorite foods. Perhaps biscuits and gravy for brunch.

To end on a positive note, I have been working out for about two months with weights and I’m getting a lot stronger. Day to day stuff like carrying my stupid heavy back pack and lifting boxes at work suddenly seem easier. I never expected to see so much progress so fast, but then again I’ve never done Olympic weight lifting before so I guess it’s pretty effective!

My problem is cardio fitness. My lungs hate me and they hate running. Hate. It. I hate running in any temperature under 80 degrees.

I’m registering for a race in September which will involve a lifting element plus a 5 mile course with 26 obstacles. I think I’ll come up with a training plan that will get me running 5 miles pretty easily by September.

Wish me luck!

ArkansasRockers.com

hollyann

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