Mitch

Lately

My parents met at Maxine’s. When I was a little kid, I would run around that place in my diaper. That rad bowling game was pretty much my babysitter and I got all the free PBR I wanted at age three. Ah, the 20th century. I miss it. I watched Hannah and Her Sisters while I was out sick for a couple of days and man, this point in time just sucks. That whole movie would have been ruined if they just had Caller ID n shit. Granted, that was only like six years away or something but Michael Caine and Max von Sydow are stone cold foxes. Apparently, so was frizzy hair for the ladies back then. I found it interesting that Diane Wiest was cast as the youngest sister, far from having kids. The very next year, she was cast as Corey Haim and Jason Patric’s mom.

JMB - The Jersey Shore house was the only thing left standing

Wait, I coulda made money off that literal shit?

Shaner — You must start a podcast. I don’t know that I’ve ever listened to one but I’d start if those were the topics.

Mr. Goetz — We reported Tara Reid on TMZ, saying, (in office, not for air), that she was using a cubicle wall to hold herself up. I missed it, though.

Really wanted the damn Knicks to close that shit out last night. They’re the only hope to take out Miami’s resting ass. Hoping Brooklyn ties it up tonight. I kinda respect Joakim Noah but he looks like an ugly middle school girl and not just because of his hair. I swear he’s wearing a sports bra and I always picture him with head gear for some reason. Deron Williams pissed me off at the end of regulation on Saturday. Stop smiling. You missed a shot that you shoulda made to win the game. Thought the Clippers would have had an easier time with the Grizz. Thought wrong.

Congrats, Hannah!

DISCLAIMER/SPOILER ALERT: What I’m about to talk about is really kinda gross so if you’re not down with it, don’t read on. Why am I posting something so gross? Because it’s inappropriate on Facebook but I felt I had to share it with many people at once. Ok, here goes:

I laid a turd today that looked like the state of New Jersey. Isn’t that awesome? I’m not hating on Jersey or anything. I really loved living there. I hope its likeness loved living in my digestive tract for a while. This has been geographical turd talk with Mitch. Please feel free to ask any questions or tell me to shut the fuck up and never post here again. You’re welcome.

Living in LA is constant disappointment that there are no free tacos. Life lesson.

George Jones is Dead

Bird Names:

Big Pun

Tweetus Christ

Tweetus, the Slack-jawed Yokel

Lark Zuckerberg

Lark Voorhies

Feather Locklear

Matthew Tweet

Chris Anderson

ArkansasRockers.com

Mitch

In General

Lately